circles

Do you ever feel like you just go around in circles? Each day the same, each week the same, each moment the same, just an endless rotation of sameness? That's how this week has felt. Endless picking up, endless loading/unloading dishwasher, endless meals, endless work, endless kid wrangling. Every day is the same with slight variations. I pick up the mess. The kids re-create the mess. I pick up the mess. I unload the dishwasher, it fills back up. I change the diaper, Mary poops, I change another diaper. I fix a meal, I clean it up, I fix another meal. I buy more groceries, I fix another meal, I clean it up. I do laundry and put it away, we create more laundry, the dog pukes, Robert wets through the bed, I track poop in-more laundry. I go to work, I come home, I go back to work in between fixing meals, washing clothes, picking up. Reading, holding, disciplining, listening to whining. It just never ends. Usually this doesn't bother me but for some reason this week I am so freaking TIRED of it all. Of the non stop work. Of never actually accomplishing anything lasting. I guess that is the real issue. Nothing lasts more than 5 min-even laundry which I really only do once a week-on weeks like this I started Sun afternoon doing laundry and I still have a load in the washing machine (the 6th maybe? or 7th? somewhere between snoopy puking and Robert's bed-how did he pee on his pillow? I'm still puzzled on that one).

The kids seem better but Robert has been SO emotional today. He cries at ANYTHING. I swear you look at him and he falls appart. And Mary is in a testing phase-she's hitting and trying all sort of stuff, and snoopy has been eating food off her tray so has to spend all meals outside barking her fool head off. And has been peeing on the floor by the fridge. I have no idea what is going on.

I took the kids to costco today. Wesley went with some coworkers to an oyster dinner and didn't think he would get to costco since he was comming home early so we could vote before work/nanny night so since we were out of milk (1/2 gallon of skim-no whole) we had to go-so it was just the kids and me. So I became that mother. You know the one that starts out, "Robert you need to sit down. Robert that's 1-2-3. Get back in your seat. (spank). Robert 1-2-3..." By the time we had survived lunch (of course they were more interested in my salad than the pizza and hotdog I had gotten for them and they both managed to spill their cups of soda even in straw cups), made it through to get milk, salad, oranges and I had bought some mini european chocolates (trust me I NEEDED chocolate must be that time of the month) and made it through the line. Robert was trying to stand up in the cart so I asked him nicely twice to sit on his bottom and finally pulled the ticked mom tight hard voice-you know the only voice that gets ANY response. "Robert SIT DOWN NOW!" the cashier and the bagging assistant exchanged glances but you know--he sat.

They did nap but Robert woke up in a mood. The rest of the afternoon was similar. Just add folding 4 loads of clothes to the mix. Highly pleasant.

Robert "I want to watch XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. NOOOOOOOOOOOO I want YYYYYYYYYYYY. wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh." 30 sec later he's enthralled with x. Until x is over and x is on and he wants y. argh. Then Mary hits him with HIS dump truck. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah Can you gather I wasn't too sad to go to work? The first part was busy but the rest has been OK so far. I got my inbox cleared out and dealt with some procedure questions that I've been putting off and now and attempting to study for ACLS. Ohy.

I'm looking forward to sleeping tomorrow :) And cleaning and it staying that way for 10 min. Didn't sleep well mon night what with working 3-11 and getting to bed around 12:30 and snoopy puking at 2:30 and the kids up at 7:30. No wonder I'm cranky.

The weekend was busy too, with apple butter and trick or treating on Sat (the kids make really cute pirates!) and then sick kids and working extra Sun. I'm looking forward to this weekend. We were thinking about camping but it's going to be cold and I just can't do it. I can't keep up with the house so I really can't add a camping trip to it. And I need to be able to go to church. Oh how I missed being able to be there Sun!